Fear is a powerful feeling and thought process that for some is absolutely debilitating. Fear of failure, fear of what others may think, fear of not being good enough, fear of what it will all mean if you put yourself out there into the World. Some become so engulfed in their fears that they never really make a start. Are you one of these people? Have you understood what the trigger is for the fear? Is it any of the above? Is it what lies on the other side of fear and the possibility of something amazing?
The reality is, we all need to become fearless in the pursuit of what makes us happy, what lights us up, and makes our soul start to dance, We need to live in the fear of what it will mean if we don’t do what we desire in this limited time on earth that we have.
Have you ever wondered what is on the other side of fear? It could be something amazing. Success, new opportunities, a pathway to a different life, your dreams could be just a few steps further ahead. Fear is a feeling of protection. The fight or flight, the internal resistance for what lies ahead in the unknown to protect you from… protect you from…uhhhmmm. Who knows. Let’s give up.
To that I say NO!
Dance like no-one is watching!
The World needs you. Yes you! You are a unique entity with ideas, gifts, talents, and perspectives that could shape life for everyone else. We need to embrace the biggest and best version of ourselves. We need to be bold! You need to be bold. What are you holding onto that you are hungry to pursue but you simply stop just before the crunch time of putting yourself out there?
Fear is the absolute worst enemy of so many. It is such a shame as what it leads to is unhappiness which is a little counter-intuitive.
The feeling that is worse than fear is regret. The feeling of not achieving, doing, or living all of the desires that live within in this one life that we have. We never really regret the things we do in the end, just the things that we didn’t do. We get trapped in the World of what could have been.
A Poem of Regret
Shoulda, coulda, woulda;
A trap for so many, past tense.
Cassettes of memories on rewind;
Captive to thoughts, boxed in four walls.
No present joy, stuck inside unable to forget.
A treacherous and dark place,
no location on a map but home to so many;
This is Regret.
Now, in order to dance with fear, there are really 4 areas that need to be assessed.
- Is what you are tackling an absolute MUST?
Will you be let down and live with absolute regret if you do not push through your fear? Will you grow old and sour by making the decision to give in and not commit to moving forward despite your fear? This can be with anything also; a new job, an adventure sport, martial arts, travel, leaving a relationship. What is the pain factor you will feel if you give in despite knowing at your core you need to do this?
- Recognise what is showing up as an excuse.
Excuses can be absolutely debilitating. They become the shield for people who don’t have the courage to move forward. Not enough time, not enough money, work is too busy, I haven’t been sleeping well. The reality is, if you want it bad enough, you will prioritise pursuing your dream or the goal ahead higher. How bad do you want it and are you willing to let a poor excuse get in your way? Hold yourself to account and go all in.
- Mindset & Expecting to Fail
There is a great book called Mindset by Carol Dweck. It speaks of two mindsets – the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. You want to adopt a growth mindset which essentially is a mindset of continually adapting and growing despite challenges that are faced. Learning from failure and gaining excited in making progress.Failure is an inevitable occurrence as we progress to our goals. Expect failure and acknowledge how you react. Manage your emotions and harness your pain as a catalyst for taking the next step forward. Let it spur you on.
- Harnessing Your Story and Hurt
Life doesn’t always align with how we plan. Relationships break down, we lose ourselves, have family members leave us, jobs may be lost, and the list goes on. Use your story and hurt as an opportunity to reset. This is where an amazing quote by Sonya Parker resonates.
DON’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR TIME TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF. SPEND YOUR TIME CREATING YOURSELF INTO A PERSON THAT YOU’LL BE PROUD OF. – SONYA PARKER
Pain and hurt are an opportunity to define who you want to be. Accept the journey ahead. It may feel uncomfortable, but define the do’s and don’ts you are willing to accept in your life. What do you value and stand for.
Peace & Love.