In life, we often look for happiness everywhere else except within ourselves. Facebook, Netflix, online, in food, alcohol, drugs, the weather, other people, and everything else in between. What most of never really do is look inside and find happiness in who we are, what we are about, where we going, what we are achieving, and how we are showing up to life, day in day out. The external factors are good, but true happiness starts and ends with who you are as a person and gaining an understanding of yourself.
For many, and I have been hear myself, there is so much emphasis on finding happiness in everything external to us. Expectation is placed on situations and there is a heavy reliance on external circumstance for us to gain a level of contentment. The sad thing is, when things don’t go to plan, someone lets you down, or an expectation wasn’t met, because the focus is external, happiness is not achieved. This is true for many people.
Relationships are a perfect example of where happiness can become dependent on the other person. A level of dependence is created in such a way that you yourself can’t be happy unless your other half is glowing with joy and happiness themselves. What is often forgotten is that the other person isn’t responsible for your happiness. That part is up to you. Many relationships end in this way.
Happiness within yourself starts with gaining a level of acceptance about where you are in your life. Acceptance of who you are. Acceptance of only having control over yourself and accepting that you cannot change everything.
In life, there are many things that are simply not in your power to change. Other people is one of them. Happiness starts with being content and grateful for how your life is at any given moment. Being grateful for the fact that you are here, can see, can read, write, sing, breathe, walk, swim, and run. Are you driven at work? Be grateful for that. Do you go into nature often? Be grateful for the trees, birds, and scenery that lie in front of you. Be grateful for the special moments that happen each every single day. A smile from a stranger, someone holding the door open for you, or a compliment from someone you know.
Happiness in its most basic form is being present and enjoying being alive. Not taking the things you have for granted. You may not have everything that you want in life, but being happy with the progress you are making to achieving that goal can fill up your heart. Don’t be down on yourself if you trip on the journey, accept the little hiccups and look at these moments as learning’s on your path.
Each day, be thankful that you have another day ahead. Look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you see. Understand that the person staring back at you is responsible for making today great. You are responsible for enjoying the day ahead, Take personal responsibility for how you will carry out your life and not blaming others or circumstance for feeling unhappy. Your emotions are yours to own, Your mind is conditioned to interpret situations based on your past experiences but doesn’t always mean the right emotion is portrayed or felt. There is an amazing quote by John Milton that sums this up really well.
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”
In order to obtain an optimal level of happiness, we must all accept the outcomes that we are dealt in life. Find joy on the rainy days, look at failures as learning’s, and embrace each day as it comes. Be grateful for the joy of experiencing ups and downs. There are going to be times that hit like a tonne of bricks no doubt, we all face our hurdles, but maintaining a grateful mindset moves you quicker to happiness than a mentality of playing the victim and being ruled by emotions.
When was the time you felt the most happy in your life? What was so special about that moment?
What is stopping you from maintaining happiness right now in your life? Is it in your control to change?
Peace & love.